Musical Healing: A TF2 Story

Ivan was in the kitchen making another sandvich, when the good doctor came up behind him and hugged him. Ivan at first stiffened but then relaxed as he realized who it was. "Hello doktor." Ivan turned around to face the doctor. "How many times have I told you mein liebling to call me Jacob?" Ivan hung his head. "I is stupid heavy, I sorry doktor." Jacob sighed. "It's ok Ivan, I actually like how you say doctor…it's cute." Ivan looked up and smiled at Jacob. "So vhat is you making?" Ivan held up the sandvich. "Ah…vell I vouldn't vant to distract you from your food…" Ivan looked at the doctor and raised an eyebrow. Jacob winked at Ivan. It took him a few seconds to put two and two together. "Doktor is talking about…" Jacob raised a finger to Ivan's lips to shush him, and then nodded. Ivan grinned at Jacob.

Jacob then took Ivan's hand and led him to his room in the infirmary. Closing and then locking the door behind them, Jacob pushed Ivan till he was sitting on Jacob's bed. Ivan watched the doctor, as he pulled off his gloves and unbuttoned his medic's uniform; he then reached into a cabinet and grabbed his violin. Adjusting his violin and getting comfortable, Jacob asked Ivan what he wanted to hear. Ivan told him he wished to hear the "Air on a b string" by Johann Sebastian Bach. Jacob corrected Ivan by saying it was G string not b.

He then raised his bow and began playing the sweet sounding music Ivan had come to know and love. After the song ended, Ivan was still staring at the doctor. Jacob blushed slightly, like he always did after he played for Ivan. He never thought he was good enough to play for his lover but Ivan always insisted, and Jacob always gave in. "Zat vas good doktor, very good." Jacob blushed brighter. "You think so?" Ivan got up and held Jacob in his big strong arms. "I know so." He then leaned down and kissed Jacob deeply. Jacob wrapped his arms around Ivan as the kiss intensified.

They only broke the kiss after they heard the scout calling out for the doctor. The doctor cursed in German. "Vhy does that Dummkopf always pick the vorst times to need me?!" Jacob slid his gloves back on and buttoned his uniform back up, then adjusting his glasses, unlocked his room's door and walked out to the infirmary to see what the scout wanted. Ivan sighed. Would they ever get past kissing? Or were they cursed never to know each others touch? Ivan walked out of Jacob's room, pulling the door shut behind him. Then walked past the scout and the doctor, not even bothering to say good bye to the doctor, which hurt Jacob. But Jacob later took it out on the scout by giving him a few shots in the ass, which he really didn't need. Ivan went to his room and locked himself in. Sighing softly he went over to his bed and lifted the mattress up, pulling out a soft-cover notebook. Setting the mattress back down, he walked over to his desk, sat down and began to write in his secret journal.

August 19th, 1954

Today the battle was the same as always, we won and the Blu's lost. I was in the kitchen after battle making a sandvich, when Jacob came up behind me and surprised me. He hinted to me that he wanted to play his violin for me. I was very happy, because it has been a while since he last played for me, I was beginning to fear he was getting shy again. I asked him to play one of my favorite pieces. Air on a G string by Johann Sebastian Bach. He played so beautifully, it pained me not telling him how wonderful it really was. It also reminded me that playing the role of the "big stupid heavy" is harder then I thought. I want to tell Jacob that I can play the piano…that I can play chess…and that I love the works of Edger Allen Poe. But alas I believe I am forever cursed to be the "stupid heavy", just like I am cursed never to feel Jacob's warm body next to mine, glowing in the after effects of love making. I fear we will never get passed kissing, as we are always interrupted and Jacob is still shy. I hope I can bring Jacob out of his shell and get some alone time with him, before I go mad with my lust and want of him.

Ivan

Ivan closed his journal and slipped it back under his mattress. I better get some sleep if I want to be ready for the battle tomorrow. Ivan quickly changed into a sleep shirt and boxers and slipped into his bed. Within a few minutes he was fast asleep, dreaming of playing the piano for his lover.

Ivan woke up to the smell of bacon, making his mouth water. He hurried and changed into his day clothes. Walking towards the kitchen he saw Jacob coming out of the infirmary. Ivan walked faster, hoping to avoid Jacob. "Ivan…vate for me." Ivan winced and slowed his pace. "So vhat vas vith you last night? You hurried out of the infirmary so fast; you did not give me a chance to tell you good night." "I sorry doktor, I vas very sleepy." Jacob shrugged and gave Ivan a kiss on his cheek before walking off to the kitchen. Ivan stopped in his tracks and turned around. He had suddenly lost his appetite. I just need some fresh air…I'll feel better then. So he decided to take a quick walk around the base. Once outside, Ivan noticed he felt a lot better.

While he walked he was deep in thought about his and Jacobs's relationship. So deep in thought that he didn't notice the building in front of him, until he ran into it. Stunned, Ivan shook his head, and looked at the barn. I don't remember seeing this barn before…wonder if there's anything inside? He pulled the barn's door open and looked inside. Stacked inside the barn were boxes and boxes of books. Ivan half-heartedly looked through some of the boxes, not expecting to find anything.

He gazed about the barn, and he saw a big sheet covering an object in the middle of the barn. He heard himself gasp. Could it be? Ivan slowly walked over to the object, and pulled the sheet off. His jaw dropped. It was a grand piano, and a beautiful one at that, smooth glossy shine, clean…now if only it were in tune. Ivan carefully lifted up the fallboard, and pressed down on a few of the keys. It's in tune! Now I can finally play again! Ivan started jumping for joy, but then he heard Jacob calling from a distance. Ivan frowned; the piano would have to wait. Ivan put the fallboard down and covered the piano back up with the sheet. He took one last look at the piano before closing the barn door and running back to the base.

Huffing and puffing, Ivan stood before Jacob. Jacob put his hands on his hips, gave Ivan his famous "looking down at you" look, and frowned. "Ivan vhare vere you?  I vas calling you for five minutes, you missed breakfast vhich is unlike you, and your out of breath." "I vas not hungry doktor, so I took a run around base, because I noticed I am getting slower." Ivan stared at the ground. God, make him believe it. Jacob opened his mouth as if to say something, but was interrupted by the scout. "Hey dudes, whatcha doin out here? It's almost fightin time! Come on!" The scout rushed off. Jacob frowned, and turned to Ivan. "Our talk is not over…ve vill continue this after battle." Jacob turned on his heel and quickly walked into the base. Ivan slumped and dragged himself into the base. Great, now I have something to look forward to…

Ivan grabbed his shotgun, minigun and bandolier. Slipping the bandolier on and putting the shotgun in its holster, Ivan looked over and watched Jacob putting on his medigun pack. Jacob looked up once he noticed Ivan was watching him. Ivan blushed and quickly looked away. God im so confused…sometimes I feel as if I hate Jacob, but other times I just want to hold on to him and never let go. And it doesn't help that he's such a hard ass…he is so strict…sometime I wonder why he won't drop his walls around his heart and let me in. Ivan adjusted his hold on his minigun and walked over to the spawn room. He saw out of the corner of his eye, Jacob coming up behind him. He felt Jacob's gloved hand on his back. Ivan turned around to face Jacob. "Are you ready Ivan?" "Yes doktor." Jacob nodded at this and turned his medigun on and began to build up an ubercharge for Ivan. Ivan smiled as he felt the familiar warmth slide over his body. He loved being healed, it was quite nice. Ivan jumped as he heard the shrill voice of the administrator. "Mission starts in 5…4…3…2…1…GO!"

Ivan charged out with the rest of the red team, Jacob following him. It was a few minutes till they saw a blu…because Ivan was the slowest person on his team. It was a scout, but then Ivan heard rockets blasting and soon he could see the scout was leading the whole blu team. "Charge me doktor!" Ivan yelled as he spun his minigun.

Jacob activated the charge. "Go now, get them!" Ivan screamed out his battle cry and mowed down the blu team. He grinned as he looked at the dead bodies. "Entire team is babies!" But then he noticed that the sniper was not there. Ivan was about to tell Jacob to look out for the sniper when he heard the boom of a sniper rifle. He heard a sharp cry behind him, and he spun around to see that Jacob was shot in his right arm.

"Doktor!" Jacob was biting his lip in pain. Ivan heard another shot bounce off of the wall next to him. Ivan dropped his minigun and carefully picked up Jacob and ran for cover. "Vhat are you doing?! Forget me and go fight!" Ivan shook his head. "No, doktor…you are important to team…and to me." He slowly set Jacob on his feet and looked around the area for a med kit. Finding one in a corner, he quickly returned to Jacob and handed him the kit. "Doktor…is ok now?" Jacob nodded and tended to his arm. "Yes Ivan, thank you." Ivan smiled; he didn't want anything to happen to Jacob. As soon as Jacob was done patching himself up, Ivan gave him a huge bear hug. "I love this doktor!" Jacob winced and hugged back. "And I love this heavy."

Ivan let go of the doktor and grinned. "Let's go kill baby team!" Jacob nodded and followed Ivan as he walked out and grabbed his minigun. There scout ran past them and yelled back over his shoulder to hurry up. Ivan nodded and ran after the scout.

The battle was hard, blu had given up trying to take back there lost points and decided to bunker down and defend the last point. There engineers had tons of level 3 sentry's around, but thanks to the help of red team's spy, they were soon junk. The clock was running out and red was starting to fear that blu would win the first time in months. But then Jacob shouted out that the charge was ready, and Ivan knew they would win. Ivan told Jacob to launch the uber and soon he was mowing down the whole team and capturing the last point. "Victory!" The administrator's shrill voice called out. It was music to the red team's ears.

Soon they were back at their own base, slapping each other on the back and popping open beers. Ivan smiled at the little party. They are all busy…maybe it's time to go see the piano again? Ivan turned to go but felt a gloved hand on his arm. "Ivan, remember ve still need to finish our little talk." Ivan sighed and nodded. Jacob took Ivan's hand and led him to his quarters. "Ivan you have been acting strangely all veek, vhat is vrong, you can tell me…bitte?" Ivan frowned. I can't tell him the truth…it will give away my secret. "I not know vhat is vrong doktor. But I am vorryed about my veight." Jacob looked surprised. "Really, is that all Ivan?" Ivan nodded slowly. "Vell…as far as I can tell you are not gaining more veight…but if you are vorryed…then ve can ask scout to help you get into shape. Vould that help?" "Da doktor." Jacob nodded. "I vill tell scout in the morning then…but for now…"

Jacob smiled softly. "I think ve should get back to vhere ve vere the other day…" Jacob loosened his tie and pulled his gloves off. Ivan's eyes went wide. Is he finally going to let me get past kissing him? Jacob chuckled at Ivan's response. "Now don't get any ideas Ivan…" Ivan's face fell. Jacob frowned at this. "Vhat is vrong mein liebling?" "Ve are never going to get past kissing are ve?" Jacob blushed and shifted uncomfortably. "I am not ready Ivan…Im sorry." "How long vill it take doktor? Ve have been kissing for five months now, and I need more then just kissing." Jacob folded his arms and turned his back on Ivan. "If you can't respect that I am not ready, then you can just leave." Ivan stood up and walked out angrily, slamming Jacobs's door behind him. The nerve of Jacob to get mad at me, I have waited five months for something to happen! I have never waited this long to get past kissing! Ivan stormed through the base and soon found himself in front of the barn. He sighed and pulled the barn door open. I just need to calm down…playing music always calms me down. He pulled the door shut behind him and walked over to the piano, pulled the sheet off of it and sat down on the bench in front of it. Now what to play?

Jacob tossed the book he was reading at the wall. Ugh, I am just so mad at myself right now! I can't believe I told Ivan to leave… Jacob hung his head. He loved Ivan, but he was just so scared of getting hurt, that he didn't want to let Ivan into his heart. Jacob took his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed. Putting his glasses back on, he walked over to his record player and turned it off. Jacob frowned and looked at the player. Where's that music coming from? I turned this thing off…so that can't be it. He looked around the room and noticed the music seemed to be coming from outside his window. He walked over to the window and opened it. Yep, it's coming from that old barn over there. Jacob raised an eyebrow. Why would there be music coming from a barn? Jacob went over to his closet and pulled out an old revolver. Might as well play it safe. He grabbed his coat on the way out of his room, and quickly put it on as he slipped out of the base and into the cold dark night. As he neared the barn he started creeping along, trying not to make a lot of noise. He slowly slid the barn door open, trying to make sure it didn't make a sound. He then quickly snuck into the barn and shut the door behind him. Jacob crept over into the shadows, trying to see where the music was coming from. He spotted the piano and let out a tiny gasp as he saw who was playing it. Is that Ivan? No…it can't be…he can't play…can he? Jacob slowly stood up and inched closer to get a better view of him.

Ivan was so deep into his concentration that he did not notice Jacob watching him. He slowly started playing one of his favorite pieces, Moonlight Sonata. Jacob was now standing right behind Ivan, crying soundlessly, as he watched his lover play one of the most beautiful pieces he had ever heard. Jacob had heard the song before, but something about Ivan playing it made it so much better. Ivan started tearing up as he played, he loved the song, but it was so sad…it reminded him a lot of the past and what he had lost, but it also reminded him that he had just lost Jacob…and he was just beginning to think he had finally found his one true love. When the song ended, Ivan began sobbing. This made Jacob break down and hug Ivan as he to started sobbing to. Ivan knew it was Jacob, but he was past caring right now about his secret and instead took Jacob into his lap and held him. They held onto each other for dear life, as if an imaginary ocean was going to sweep them away if they let go. After awhile there eyes were hurting and they were both tired from crying.

They snuggled each other, both thinking about the questions they wanted to ask the other. Jacob spoke first. "Ivan…I am sorry for earlier, you were right to be angry, you have waited a long time for me, but I never even gave you a reason why I am like this. You deserve to know." Jacob then began to tell Ivan about his past. About how he grew up in an era where being a Jew in Germany was not a good thing. About how he and his family were taken to the death camps. About how he saw his family die, but he was spared, because a doctor in the death camp liked him. Jacob grew quieter and quieter as the story went on, till he was just above a whisper. "I vas turned into his sex slave, he treated me like a dog, beating me vhen ever he vas mad. As time vent on, he began teaching me the medical skills I now have today. It vas horrible…he had me practice on my own people. I soon learned that it vas better to forget I ever had a family or that I vas Jewish. He seemed to like that I had given up my "sinful" beliefs. He treated me better and better, and began trusting me more…till one day he left me alone in his office, and I vas able to grab some poison from the medical supplies. And this vasn't the poison that you felt no pain…no this vas the stuff he had put in so many of my people…he vould soon learn what it felt like. So that night I put it in his food. He died in the most painful vay that vas possible for me to do then. I grabbed as much money and food as I could carry and I left the country…and I never looked back."

Ivan hugged Jacob tightly. "I am sorry I pushed you Jacob." Jacob looked at Ivan. "You just called me Jacob…not doctor, and your accent…it's gone." Ivan nodded. "Since we are telling each other our secret, I want to tell you mine now…if that is all right?" Jacob nodded. Ivan began telling Jacob about growing up in Russia. How it was dark and very grim at times, but his family always managed to pull through. How his father earned enough to buy Ivan a piano so he would learn to play beautiful music and one day have an easier life then his father had. He soon became a musical prodigy…everyone was so impressed this huge dumb looking child could be so smart and play so well. But then everything crashed around him when his father was taken away. His father was accused of helping Jew's and other races that the Soviet Union frowned upon. He was executed and Ivan and his mother were forced to live on the charity of others. Ivan did all he could to get any money. But soon his mother died of an unknown illness and Ivan was on his own. He was picked up by a fight league, and made enough money off of fighting to go to school and get a better life. He left Russia behind and moved to England, where he tried to make a living playing and writing music. It failed, but through it he had met someone. They dated for a while and then decided to move in together. His life was finally starting to turn around, till one day his partner never came home. Ivan later found out he had been beaten to death for being gay. That's when Ivan gave up all hope and tried to kill himself. He failed at that to and found himself in a hospital with an offer from the red team, to come fight for them in America.

"When I asked why they wanted me, they said because I was perfect for there heavy weapons guy. And they had also seen me fight when I was younger. So with nothing else to lose, I signed up and was shipped off." Jacob hugged him. "But vhat about your accent?" "Oh that, well I learned when I moved to England it was better not to have it, so I taught myself how to speak clearly, so anyone could understand me." Jacob frowned. "But that does not explain vey you used it vhen you first came here." "Well everyone expected the heavy weapons guy to be stupid and so I played along…it was a lot easier to go along with the stereotype then to let out my true self." Jacob shook his head. "So all this time you knew vhat music I played?" Ivan nodded. Jacob blushed, which made Ivan chuckle. "Don't worry; you are really quite talented Jacob." Jacob smiled. "If you say so, mein liebling." Ivan smiled at the name. "So does this mean we are back together?" Jacob nodded, and smirked. "It also means that I am ready…" Ivan grinned at this. "Are you sure…doktor?" Jacob laughed. "Yes mein liebling, I am." Soon the night air was filled with there beautiful music.